I can’t start climbing until I’m prepped properly. Purple is my favorite color and lucky me, today I got a purple line installed. It is going through a vein in my left arm to right above my heart – more specifically to the superior vena cava. This line will be used to administer the chemo – and to draw blood. No more poking my arm to get IV or blood drawn. That’s a good thing.

The so called picc line will be permanent on my arm throughout this process. It will allow for the most efficient administration of the drugs straight into my heart for quick mixing and fast delivery into my blood system. I got a local pain killer shot, but it was definitely not comfortable to install it. Got that frog out of the way.

James got trained on how to clean and flush it. It needs to be flushed with saline every day so it doesn’t get clogged. I suggested gin instead, but we both decided that was a waste as I wouldn’t get to taste it. I also need to get a plastic sleeve so it doesn’t get wet when I shower. I wonder how my arm will smell after three months of no shower. I need to get the bandage redressed once a week, so I hope the nurses will clean my arm while they’re at it…

Not only do I have a purple line installed, I also got a purple comfy blanket today. Thank you Carol and Deena. They also brought me coloring books and pens, puke bags, anti nausea smell stick, inspirational books – and a bag to keep everything in. My very own special chemo bag – now full of stuff to keep me warm and entertained while I’m getting pumped full of drugs – and the bag will be packed and ready for every new cycle. I also got some warm knitted wrist warmers and Norwegian milk chocolate from a friend. Definitely looking forward to that chocolate since I have been fasting for two days (200 cal per day). So wonderful to have people around me that take care of me. And thank you to everyone that are wishing me good luck! I’m very grateful.

Seeing and talking with other cancer patients today reminded me of how much worse my cancer could be. It is only locally spread, it is not in my lungs and not spread to the bone. I clearly and of course don’t feel particularly lucky in all of this, but it could have been so much worse.

I’m not quite sure I’m mentally ready for tomorrow’s chemotherapy – or I am very sure I’m not mentally ready. I’m still scared and sad about the whole situation and it still feels quite unreal. Anyway – I’m prepped and ready physically and I will grab my chemo bag tomorrow morning and cope the best I can with what is coming next.