Getting closer

Getting closer

Tomorrow is the fifth time I get chemo infusion. Getting close to the last one – yay! I got the dressing on the picc line changed today and had my blood samples done. I still have a rash due to the glue on the dressing, but the last month I have had a different dressing (IV clear) to minimize the skin reaction. My white blood cell count (WBC) is still sinking, but it had not gone down as much as two weeks ago. Red blood cells (RBC) are also now below ideal range and the red cell distribution width (RDW) is elevated and out of ideal range. It is clear that my blood is starting to get out of whack and that my bone marrow is affected. But – liver and kidney functions are both good. My oncologist decided to reduce the chemo dose to 80% and I will get growth factor (G-CSF) to boost the WBC. We have to keep up the strict isolation regime for a while longer.

The hospital is still rigid on who they let in, and they screen everybody before we are allowed to walk in. All staff are wearing face masks and gloves and on each check-in counter they have installed plexiglass shields. It is odd to not be able to see facial expressions since half their face is covered. And all voices are muffled. Having to shy away from walking close to people feels so strange – and yelling through my face mask to a person six feet away behind the check in counter – odd. The appointment with the oncologist today was again on the phone. Strange times, but we have to get used to this for quite a while longer.

Anyway – it is business as usual here. I have fasted for two days – grrr. I have fasted before, but not on two consecutive days and not with as little as 2-300 cal per day – and not as the only person in the house. It is a mental challenge, in addition to a physical one. I’m surprised that I don’t feel more faint, but I guess I efficiently feed off my own reserves – reserves I didn’t know I had – not much at least. It is super odd, but very good, that I have not lost any weight through this process. I might have landed on my ideal weight.

I got some work done today and since I’m not eating a lot the making food part is pretty quick and easy. I am about to soak my feet in some hot water and do a little foot grooming. Before every cycle I’ve made sure that the house is clean, clothes are washed, bed linen and towels are clean, food is sort of planned, body and hair are clean – then I have less things to fuzz over while I’m zoned out.

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