Better days are ahead, but they seem far away at the moment. It was going so well. Slow but going forward. Sunday afternoon I crashed – on the couch – and I’ve had a problem working my energy up since then. I am so very very tired. A shower and washing my hair knocks me out for hours. I though I was on the mend. The surgeon told me I’d be fatigued for weeks, perhaps even months, and I’m for sure fatigued now.

I’m seeing both the surgeon and the oncologist on Friday and the G-tube will finally be removed. The skin where it’s coming out is very sore and it wakes me up at night since it’s hard to find a position that doesn’t agitate it. I hope that I will get a better sleep at night once it’s out and that I then will have more energy during the day. I’ll also feel less like a cyborg which will help me focus more on that I am healing.

In fear of becoming a complainer, but yes I’m complaining now. In addition to sore skin by the G-tube, my feet are numb, my incision is itchy and burning, the tapes I have here and there make my skin get a burning rash, my tongue is sore, I have hot flashes, no sitting or laying position is comfortable, and I get dizzy and sweaty when I stand up. OK – got that out of my system.

Even if I failed at making dinner yesterday I at least managed to go for a long walk. I will try to make dinner today, but will ask Benjamin to assist me. I hope I’ll manage to go for a long walk after dinner today as well so my body doesn’t freeze into one position – half sitting half laying. Even if I fail at making dinner sometimes, we are still very lucky to have good friends helping us by bringing over wonderful dinners. Thank you!

I am impatiently waiting for better days. I know they will come, sooner rather than later, but I’m so very done with being tired and utterly useless.