Let’s break the good news first. No cancer cells in the lymph nodes that were removed. Only mucin in the small nodes and the intestine tissue – that means no cancer in those. The only tissue with high grade cancer cells was the growth in the diaphragm. The surgeon is confident that he has removed everything. I have recovered remarkably well (even if I feel otherwise), I am young (all things considered) and have shown that I am very strong. So here comes the bad news: As an insurance to elevate the chances of becoming cancer free, and because they believe I can handle it – I have to do three more months of chemotherapy, starting September 3rd. Bummer. 

As you can imagine I have very mixed feelings about this. I am far from a celebratory mood, even though I should be. At the end of November it is a possibility that I can say I’m cancer free. But I have to go through another hell to get there and I unfortunately have a problem looking very much further than the tip of my nose right now. So I’ve had my fair share of tears this afternoon and a big pouting lower lip. 

The good news in the bad is that I will not have a picc line this time. I will get a mixture of pills and infusion. Another good news is that it will be four cycles and not six. Each cycle will be three weeks and not two as last time. Day one will be infusion and starting pills that I will take for two weeks and then one week off. I will not get Oxaliplatin, but a different drug, so no neuropathy – yay.  But of course lots of other side effects that I don’t even want to think of right now.

Anyhow – the G-tube was removed today. What a relief. Not without pain and struggle. The skin around the hole was so sore that I had a hard time relaxing my abdominal muscles enough to assist a smooth exit. The surgeon had to take over and add some more muscle power to pull the last bit out. When he suggested he could leave it in for another week I managed to relax enough for it to come out with a plopp. Now I’m on a mission to add some more fat and muscle mass to my body. I’ve lost 8 lb (4 kg) the last three weeks and I’m down to a weight I haven’t had since I was in my early twenties. James is having a hard time finding a good spot to inject the blood thinners in a nonexistent muffin top, so luckily today was the last one. I am now over on blood thinner in pill format.

Without the G-tube I will get a better night’s sleep and tomorrow I hope that I manage to have more positive feelings than the dread I struggle with right now. I have to focus that the coming chemo is for insurance and ensuring a longer life and not because they found more cancer cells or cancer in the lymph nodes. It is because they see that I can become cancer free, and I’m sure they are secretly testing how much this Viking can tolerate.