Today it’s Thanksgiving. I celebrated my first Thanksgiving 10 years ago, only four months after moving to California from Norway. I was certain that during the dinner we would tell each other at least one thing we were thankful for, but that did not happen. I’m not sure if that is because this is not a tradition in our family, or if it is not a tradition at all. I haven’t given it much though, so I’ve never asked anyone about it.

This year I do want to show my gratitude, and for obvious reasons be particularly thankful. I’m thankful plainly and simply for being here, today. I have a few aches and sores, but I’m here and I’m on the mend. I also want to show gratitude for all the support and help I’ve gotten. 

I’m of course grateful for my doctors and their teams for saving me – physically. Without their expertise and experience the outcome would have been quite different. I’m very grateful for the support all of you have given me and everything you have done for me: encouragement, distraction, dinners, conversations, laughs, grocery shopping, puzzles, hugs (when that was allowed), flowers, snacks… I’ve gotten so much from you that I can’t list all of it. I am so grateful that I have grown closer to many of you and I’m looking forward to nurturing friendships going forward. And not the least I am so indescribably grateful for the three guys closest to my heart, James, Benjamin and Chess. They have not only been there for me every day and every step of the way, feeding me, protecting me, and keeping the house pretty straight – more importantly they have saved me mentally. They have seen my lowest lows and helped me up every time. I have visited the darkest pits, but they have pulled me up. It has been very difficult for them, and their presence, devotion, and their tears have encouraged me to not only fight this fight for myself, but also for them.

I’m clearly not grateful for getting cancer, but I am strangely grateful for how it has opened my eyes. I have revisited some dark corners inside myself and encountered several new ones, and I have spent a whole lot of time thinking my way out of them. This will sound like a cliche, but it’s a cliche for a reason. I’m more grateful than ever for each day I’m alive and for the simple things around me. I appreciate feeling the wind on my skin and the warmth from the sun. I appreciate the sound and smell of rain. I appreciate putting around my herb garden smelling all the different fragrances and chewing on a mint leaf. I appreciate walking barefoot feeling all the different textures and temperatures under my feet. I appreciate the sound of the wind chime and the fountain splashing. I appreciate the hummingbirds whirring past me and the phoebe chirping to get more worms. 

And I appreciate all of you. Thank you for your love and support and for being there for me. You have been and are, so important.