Today I have almost felt normal again. Despite of having a low calorie day for the run-up to my next chemo dose, I’ve not felt particularly hungry or light headed. I had an appointment today that I drove to myself. I have worked for a few hours. I’ve tidied. And I’ve made my own meals. I’ve walked the dog – or the dog walked me. I have for large parts of the day forgotten about that the next treatment is only one day away. That has felt pretty good.

Last night I – sort of – made dinner. Sort of because it was only heating up a wonderful soup that Anine brought over. I cut up some cilantro and sliced bread. I even set the table for the first time in a while. It felt good to call the rest of the family for dinner. Another good thing yesterday was that the day started with being able to wash my face in cold water. That felt so good. I had to splash water in my face several times for several minutes just to enjoy and sense the nice fresh feeling. Appreciating normality. 

For a few brief moments yesterday I though my tinnitus was easing up a bit. Today not so much. Still a disturbing high pitched sound that even music can’t mask. I have been able to ignore it more though and have had less headache. Anyway, yesterday made me hope that it is a possibility that it can at least be less intense from time to time.

These days everyone need to be careful and taking precautions due to COVID-19. We unfortunately have to be extra careful because of my condition and likely immunosuppression. Benjamin cancelled his membership at the gym today – but bought some used exercise equipment instead. The car needed gas when I was driving, but I hesitated filling gas because I didn’t want to touch the pump or the screen. Sad and difficult with the uncertainty. It’s hard enough to handle being scared of the cancer I’m fighting. I’m not happy about adding something else I need to be scared of. Good thing Benjamin is home and that we have a home office.

Tomorrow is another hospital visit. I need to get my picc line dressing changed and my blood drawn. I also have an appointment with my oncologist. I will put my mask on, touch as little as possible and wash my hands when I get home.