As predicted on Friday night this weekend has been good. I’m very happy about that. I’ve been in decent shape and have even been sitting at the table when eating – and I made my own lunch. Small victories. I was a little too eager while sitting by my computer focusing on some work and forgot to drink enough water – not good. A short rest – while finishing my audiobook – and some large gulps of water got me back up. Big victory today was that I managed to finish something important for work. Happy happy.

I’m still trying to get used to the tinnitus. It bothers me quite a bit. I need to learn some techniques on how to ignore it. I constantly have a faint headache and wonder if the nonstop buzz in my head might have something to do with it.  Not sure. It’s a different kind of headache than I’m used to having and it’s alternating between feeling hot and cold. Pretty much everything feels different these days anyway.

Now that the chemo side effects are taking a break, of course something else had to take over. Due to now having no estrogen producing organs left and being kicked into menopause I’m having hot flashes on and off. This sure came a little late – it’s six weeks since my ovaries were removed. I asked the doctors if that might be a bit late onset, but I got an answer I’ve gotten fairly used to lately: “It depends. People are different.” Hoping this eases off when the chemo kicks in again. It’s a good thing it makes me cold sensitive and not hot sensitive.

I’m so grateful for all the love and support I got from all of you that left messages and that talked with me after my previous post. Thank you so much for helping me get through this. It means so much to me and helps me enormously to pick my self up and continue to fight. I read a very good article in a Norwegian newspaper that resonated a lot with me. Thomas Hylland Eriksen, a Norwegian anthropologist, got pancreatic cancer a few years ago and this is what he said at the end of the article: “There are no shortcuts. It will cost, and it is worth it. As a cancer patient you have to learn to let go of control and leave the responsibility to others. The only thing you cannot afford letting go of is life.”